Am I Ever Gonna Be Happy?

Am I Ever Gonna Be Happy?

I have been extremely depressed lately. I’m not sure where it’s coming from, exactly, but it’s gotten pretty bad this last week or so. I’m completely unmotivated to do anything, I haven’t worked out in 10 days, I’ve been eating like crap, not taking care of myself or the house. I could go on. The weather wasn’t particularly bad, until a couple days ago. It was actually really nice and felt like summer. It’s raining now, and I know the weather plays a huge part in my depression. 

I know what I have to do to pull myself out of it, but I just can’t seem to force myself to do any of those things. It’s like a secret part of me deep down inside just wants me to continue to mope and wallow. I know that’s just my mental illness feeding itself, or even the devil trying to pull me further away from God. I was doing so well, praying and going to church regularly before this bout of depression set in. Being closer to God definitely makes me feel better, but I’ve strayed away from it, yet again. 

It may have something to do with the anniversary of my sister’s death being last week. It’s always a difficult time for me, and this year was no different. I actually visited her at the cemetery for the first time in over 4 years. May 15th was the 11th anniversary of her passing, and the first time I took the kids to go see her. 

I even postponed the kids doctor’s appointment they were supposed to go to yesterday. This is not the way I want to feel, and hopefully getting it out will help me to move past it in a healthy way. I have responsibilities that need taking care of this week, so I have to try to be something that resembles an adult. Jr’s first birthday party is this weekend, so I have to clean the house and get the yard ready for that, along with food and cake and ice cream. It seems like a daunting task from as far down as I feel right now, especially with taking care of two toddlers on top of it, but I know that I can use my coping skills, turn my thoughts around, and get it done. 

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Am I Watching Too Much TV?

Am I Watching Too Much TV?

I try not to be a couch potato. I try to get myself and the kids outside every day, whether it’s playing in the back yard, taking a walk, or going to the park. But we do like to watch a little TV. 

My kids are obsessed with Mickey Mouse and Daniel Tiger, so they spend their mornings watching cartoons while I tidy things up and get breakfast ready. I usually shut off the TV during breakfast and try to keep it off as long as I can. I know that I’m more active and productive when I’m not watching so much TV. 

I do have a couple of shows that I like to watch regularly. I’m a Wheel of Fortune junkie, so I try not to miss an episode. I watch Jeopardy most afternoons, and my guilty pleasure 2 Broke Girls after the kids go to bed. 

I try not to get too caught up in reality TV, and new shows that get you hooked. I’ve always thought watching TV is a waste of time. But I do occasionally binge watch a series on Netflix or HBO. I try not to do it too often, and keep my TV time to a minimum. 

I’m able to keep up with my household chores and adult responsibilities much better when I’m not sitting around watching TV all day. As much as I’d rather be lazy and lounge around on the couch all day, reality calls. It’s just after breakfast, so time to turn off the TV, put the phone down, and get my daily to-do list knocked out!

Happy Friday!