Sometimes I know I have anger management issues. It was really bad when I was an angsty teenager, but even as an “adult” I have trouble expressing it in healthy ways every once in awhile. My husband, bless his sweet heart, takes the brunt of it most of the time.
My husband is incredibly forgetful, and yesterday his sister was over, and asked us if we were going to his mom’s surprise birthday party…… today. This was the very first I’d heard of it. Apparently my husband had forgotten to mention it to me.
Normally I would get very frustrated about something like this, but I’ve been trying to consciously turn my negative thoughts and reactions into positive ones. I took a few seconds to just breathe deeply and count to ten, and told myself it’s not worth getting upset over, it’s not something I want to fight about. So I just accepted it as reality and mentally prepared myself for it. I picked out outfits for the kids and I, and packed up the diaper bag and made sure to take a shower last night. We have about 2 hours before we have to leave, and all we have to do is get dressed and make some coffee to take with.
It’s just a matter of approaching things from a different angle, and changing your mindset about things. I’m glad I’ve been practicing this because it’s becoming a very useful skill for me. Of course, I’ll throw my anti-anxiety meds in my purse, just in case. But I’m feeling ready for the day, and not at all angry!
There was a time in my life when Saturday nights meant partying, dancing, and lots and lots of booze. But for the most part, those parties are few and far between now that I’m an “adult.” Most Saturday nights are spent at home more or less like any other night. Dinner, followed by bathtime for the kids, watch some cartoons and put the kids to bed. My husband and I are lucky if we even have any energy left after getting the kids to fall asleep.
Tonight is another lame Saturday night. It’s almost 7, I’m already exhausted and the kids aren’t going to bed for another hour and a half. By this time most nights I’m barely able to keep my eyes open. But I honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything. We had an awesome day with the kids, playing outside and splashing around in the pool. I’m looking forward to just watching a movie or some tv and cuddling with my husband on the couch. Adult life may not be as exciting as some of the parties I have attended, but it sure as hell is more rewarding.
Tomorrow is my son’s first birthday party. My husband left Thursday night for graduation weekend at his alma mater, an event he hasn’t been able to attend in over 15 years. I was happy to have him go, he’s been stressed out lately and definitely needed a little man time. But it hasn’t been a cake walk since he left.
I’m busy trying to get the house and yard ready for guests, shopping for food, choosing everyone’s outfits, on top of my normal day to day stuff and two toddlers. Jr just started walking, and now he won’t stop. He’s already climbing on furniture.(must be a boy thing!) I’ve been managing surprisingly well, and I’m pretty darn proud of myself for it.
I have one more run to make after Jr wakes up from his nap, and have to finish mopping the kitchen and cleaning the bathroom, and then my chores will basically be finished. The best part of it all is that I’ve been too busy trying to get everything done that I haven’t really had time to be depressed. I’ve been talking to God the past few days and I think he’s been giving me strength. The power of prayer truly is incredible!
I’m relatively new at this whole “mom” thing, and I’m constantly second guessing myself when it comes to my parenting. Am I feeding them enough? Am I letting them watch too much TV? Am I stimulating their minds enough? The list could go on.
But as long as my kids are happy and healthy and at the end of the day they’ve had enough to eat and are relatively clean, I feel I’m doing a pretty good job. They’re learning and growing at the right pace, and they are both very sweet and loving. I’m trying to do my best to teach them the skills they’ll need to be productive members of society when they grow up.
My husband and I have a 15 year age gap between us. He is a classic Gen-X’er, and I’m a pretty typical Millennial, so we don’t always see eye to eye on some things, especially parenting. But we manage to work around that most of the time and compromise in the middle. We think we’re doing a pretty good job of raising our kids so far, but we’ll have to wait for them to get older and start making their own decisions to really find out.