I have never adulted more in my life than I have in the past few weeks. Its kind of a weird feeling, like accomplished and overwhelmed and exhausted all at the same time. My husband and I are in the middle of packing up our house and moving out of state.
Sometimes I know I have anger management issues. It was really bad when I was an angsty teenager, but even as an “adult” I have trouble expressing it in healthy ways every once in awhile. My husband, bless his sweet heart, takes the brunt of it most of the time.
My husband is incredibly forgetful, and yesterday his sister was over, and asked us if we were going to his mom’s surprise birthday party…… today. This was the very first I’d heard of it. Apparently my husband had forgotten to mention it to me.
Normally I would get very frustrated about something like this, but I’ve been trying to consciously turn my negative thoughts and reactions into positive ones. I took a few seconds to just breathe deeply and count to ten, and told myself it’s not worth getting upset over, it’s not something I want to fight about. So I just accepted it as reality and mentally prepared myself for it. I picked out outfits for the kids and I, and packed up the diaper bag and made sure to take a shower last night. We have about 2 hours before we have to leave, and all we have to do is get dressed and make some coffee to take with.
It’s just a matter of approaching things from a different angle, and changing your mindset about things. I’m glad I’ve been practicing this because it’s becoming a very useful skill for me. Of course, I’ll throw my anti-anxiety meds in my purse, just in case. But I’m feeling ready for the day, and not at all angry!
There was a time in my life when Saturday nights meant partying, dancing, and lots and lots of booze. But for the most part, those parties are few and far between now that I’m an “adult.” Most Saturday nights are spent at home more or less like any other night. Dinner, followed by bathtime for the kids, watch some cartoons and put the kids to bed. My husband and I are lucky if we even have any energy left after getting the kids to fall asleep.
Tonight is another lame Saturday night. It’s almost 7, I’m already exhausted and the kids aren’t going to bed for another hour and a half. By this time most nights I’m barely able to keep my eyes open. But I honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything. We had an awesome day with the kids, playing outside and splashing around in the pool. I’m looking forward to just watching a movie or some tv and cuddling with my husband on the couch. Adult life may not be as exciting as some of the parties I have attended, but it sure as hell is more rewarding.
The past few days it has been HOT here. Today and tomorrow are supposed to be sunny in the 80s all day. My wonderful husband went to the store yesterday and came home with a little pool for the kiddos. I think I’m more excited than they are! I love being outside and in the water. Summer has always been my favorite season. I live for bonfires, camping trips, biking, anything I can do outdoors basically.
But I’m honestly a little nervous going into this summer. I’ve been trying to lose weight for a while now, and haven’t made as much progress as I’d like to. I had two kids in two years, and my body definitely shows signs of that. My “bikini body” is put on hold for yet another year.
I don’t want to dwell on what my body looks like though, and I definitely want to enjoy myself with my kids and husband this summer. So I’ll put on my two-piece and jump in that pool with them, feeling confident, happy, and proud. It’s just a matter of changing my negative thoughts into positive ones, and talking to myself a lot more gently.